


Near Death Experience

by hollywoodproblems



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Gen, M/M, is there a way to indicate this isnt totally canon compliant bc i havent caught up yet, its just some cute shit folks nothing to see here, ive only listened up to episode like 51, kinda???, kitchen makeouts, literally if you read this suggest tags to me cause this is a mess rn, so idk whats going on with these losers at present but in my world theyre just chillin and dating, ya ever made out in a kitchen? It can change ya (for the better)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 06:12:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollywoodproblems/pseuds/hollywoodproblems
Summary: Takes place somewhere between episode 50 and 51. Kravitz has some time between jobs and drops by Taako's for a visit. He finds Taako the perfect amount of busy and available. Kitchen hookups ensue. Then Angus shows up. (pre-established Taako/Kravitz. Lil bit nsfw. It's just fluff, folks.)





	Near Death Experience

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not all caught up on TAZ so this happens sometime after the Taako/Kravitz first date in episode 50 and before The Suffering Game. It’s based on a dream I had lol anyways this is my first TAZ fic so lemme know what ya think pls n thx enjoy!

~~~~

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Kravitz couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as Taako answered his suite door, having really been hoping the wizard would be home after all. They never had enough time for each other, let alone unscheduled time. As he expected, the wizard didn’t so much as bat an eye at the sudden appearance of death at his door, simply stepping aside to let him by and as he scoffed,

“Well it  _ is _ pretty rare that I get to actually spend some time at my place so you being here is just about equally likely as myself.”

Kravitz was still smiling as he stepped in and peered around, the place familiar enough to him at this point except that it seems Taako has rearranged the furniture every time he comes over. The wizard can never seem to settle on a layout he really likes. Or maybe he just prefers change.

“It smells amazing in here,”

Kravitz pointed out, being led into the kitchen where he spotted the culprit for himself. A plate of chocolate chip cookies was cooling on the counter, the oven still lit up with another dozen baking inside. There was a moment’s hesitation in the wizard’s slender hands before he picked up the plate and turned to offer it out to the reaper. Kravitz ruminated on the hesitation as he selected a cookie. He knew Taako was really into cooking- or more accurately, had some kind of complicated past with cooking?- and this was his first time trying anything of his. He took a bite and blinked in mild surprise.

“Delicious!”

Taako turned away to set the plate down but not before Kravitz caught his smile. 

“Well, you can’t really go wrong with a chocolate chip cookie….”

Kravitz scoffed, leaning back against the counter to watch Taako work as he finished up his cookie.

“I have had plenty of chocolate chip cookies go wrong before.”

“You bake?”

“Clearly not.”

Taako laughed and Kravitz savored every second of it, locking it away in his memory to replay again later. He takes a moment to really look the wizard over, too, now that his back was turned. He was in a billowing, white chiffon shirt that hung loosely enough around his neck it occasionally would slip off one of his shoulders, the sleeves shoved up to his elbows and the v in the front showing off a generous amount of collarbone. His pants were a crushed velvet in deep blue, delectably tight. A glittery, silver sash was tied tightly around his waist to help corral the billowing shirt which matched perfectly with his equally silver and glittery boots which stopped at the ankle and clicked when he walked. The sight overall had Kravitz grinning. This was Taako’s lounging-around-the-house-baking-cookies outfit. Of course.

“So what’s the occasion?”

The reaper questioned as he watched the wizard pull the second dozen of cookies out of the oven. He closed his eyes and smiled at the warm, vanilla cloud that drifted over the kitchen.

“Hey homey do I need some kind of excuse to bake some cookies?? Maybe I was just hungry!”

Kravitz laughed.

“Well, point taken, then.”

Completely contradicting himself, Taako continued,

“I’m having the kid over in an hour so I just thought I’d make something, I dunno…”

He shrugged, his back still mostly to Kravitz as he carefully transferred the fresh cookies from the sheet to a cooling rack, one at a time. Kravitz tilted his head, and he spotted for the first time in the conversation Taako sense being looked at.

“The kid? What kid?”

Suddenly the curtain lifted, the spotlight clicked on and just like that Taako was performing. He turned on his heel to face Kravitz as he batted a hand at the air, rolling his eyes for affect and tone dripping in casual,

“Oh he’s just this kid me and the guys work with here at the Bureau- I guess you could say I kind of took him under my wing. He asked me to teach him some magic so when I have the time he comes over and I show him what I got…”

Kravitz lifted an eyebrow at Taako but simply smiled. The wizard couldn’t seem to decide whether he wanted to paint himself as careless or a heroic mentor for the boy. Maybe he hadn’t decided what he actually wanted to be to him yet, either.

“Here, have another, this one doesn’t fit on the plate.”

Taako seemed to sense Kravitz reviewing his performance and decided to put a stop to it, stepping over to unceremoniously shove a cookie in the reaper’s mouth. He made a noise of clogged protest through his full mouth but really only to be polite, happy to have another one of Taako’s cookies as the wizard turned back to finish plating his goods. 

“Well, what’s his name?”

Kravitz asked when he finally got his mouthful of cookie under control. Taako answered without looking back over.

“Angus- or something like that.”

Clearly the conversation was over; Taako would not be offering any more on the subject. Kravitz was used to it at this point. He could just fill his thoughts with the image of Taako teaching a little kid magic. It was the most wholesome- and a little bit hilarious- thing he’d probably ever imagined.

“So what brings you here, anyways? I’ve been very good, you know, only the normal amount of dying for me nowadays!”

He joked over his shoulder. Kravitz shook his head, finishing up his cookie.

“No, no, I’m not here on business….”

He pushed off from the counter.

“I had a little time so I just thought I’d stop by and see if you were around.”

He slid his hands across Taako’s hips to hug him from behind, leaning down to purr in his ear,

“I’m quite glad you are.”

He pressed his lips lightly to the wizard’s earlobe then a little lower on his neck. Taako, who had been holding his breath since hands had fallen on his hips finally let it out slowly through his nose, relaxing more into the reaper’s embrace. Kravitz smiled to himself, leaving one hand on Taako’s hip and bringing the other up to nudge his shirt off his shoulder and brush his long hair away from his neck before continuing to trail his fingers through Taako’s soft locks. It was rare he caught the wizard without his hat on- and without his guard up- and he was taking the opportunity for all it was worth. 

He leaned down to trail kisses slowly along his shoulder and up his neck and Taako sighed again, tilting his head into the hand massaging it and stretching his neck out for Kravitz. The reaper grazed his teeth lightly over the skin, thumb rubbing circles against Taako’s hip bone as he worked, choosing a spot at the intersection of neck and shoulder to suck at lightly. 

“Why don’t we go lay down?”

Kravitz murmured against his skin, pulling Taako tighter against his body. The wizard groaned softly, leaning into the touch even as he protested breathlessly,

“I don’t know…. Angus is coming….”

“There’s time.”

Kravitz reassured, making his way back up Taako’s neck and sucking at the skin there. Taako brought a hand up to fist aimlessly at Kravitz dreadlocks, pulling the reaper closer to him and turning his head so the little sighs he was letting out blew right into Kravitz’s ear. The reaper huffed at how good the hand in his hair felt and he responded by sinking his teeth into Taako’s shoulder, pleased by the sound of Taako sucking a breath in sharply through his teeth he received. Finally the wizard turned fully to face Kravitz, pulling him by the hips so they were pressed together and finding the reapers lips with his own. 

They kissed each other deeply, lips mashing and teeth occasionally clicking together, neither wasting any time in slipping in their tongue. Taako’s slender hands slipped below Kravitz’s long dreads to claw lightly at the back of his neck and the reaper groaned against his lips, pleased it seemed he would never be getting used to Taako’s tendency to claw. Their bodies were flush against each other but it still wasn’t enough, Kravitz slipping his hands beneath Taako’s shirt to explore the unbelievably soft skin of his back, stomach and chest, slipping between his fingers like silk. The wizard sighed and lilted against the reaper’s lips, pulling him closer, sitting up on the counter at this point just from the sheer force of them together. Kravitz finally pulled away just enough to press their foreheads together, blinking back at the wizard as they both heaved to catch their breath.

“I want you.”

He said with certainty. His hands were still exploring and Taako arched his back against the reaper with a sigh before gulping.

“What about Angus…”

Kravitz leaned down to kiss and graze his teeth over the exposed part of Taako’s chest and the wizard groaned.

“Don’t worry.”

He reassured again. He knew the drill by now. Sometimes there wasn’t enough reassurance in the world for Taako but this time felt like he had a good chance. 

“I don’t know…”

The wizard hummed above him but it was more theatrical this time, less convincing.

“ _ I _ know.”

Kravitz scooped the wizard up off the counter with hands beneath his thighs and instantly arms and legs curled tightly around him, arms hugged around his neck and ankles hooked together behind his back as he carried the wizard away from the kitchen. He felt Taako grin against his collarbone before sinking his teeth in.

“Yeah, I know.”

~~~

For a wizard so chaotic, sex with Taako was like clockwork. Minutes after finishing he would insist he needed to shower and be up and away from the bed, ridiculing Kravitz for ‘being gross’ until the reaper would just have no choice but to join him in the shower- which always was so clearly exactly what the wizard wanted in the first place. After a round two in the shower Kravitz could lay around naked in bed and watch the very interesting post-shower-Taako routine of brushing out his long hair and moisturizing every inch of his body. He would return to at least some of his clothes, usually his shirt and underwear, then crawl back into bed and cling onto Kravitz like an octopus where he would remain until he actually fell asleep. When Taako was actually sleeping, he tended to curl up on his own. That was where he was now, back to Kravitz as the reaper sat up against some pillows and yawned, watching the slow rise and fall of the wizard’s shoulders as he slept.

He was glad he had a moment to himself so he didn’t have to be embarrassed at how much he was absolutely glowing. All in all, this had gone much better than he had expected. He didn’t even know if Taako would be home today when he had knocked on the door. He smiled around the room at the pile of pillows on the floor- Taako kept about a dozen extra on his bed just for the look of it- the heap of wet towels dumped on the floor of the bathroom, and his own clothes gathered and folded neatly on the chair of the wizard’s vanity. The more Kravitz got to know him the more he realized Taako really was like clockwork- no chaos involved- and it was a beat he didn’t mind living by at all. 

With a glance Taako’s way Kravitz carefully extracted himself from beneath the blankets and made his way over to the pile on the vanity chair, pulling on his clothes. He used the vanity mirror to scoop his long dreads back into a ponytail once more, glad Taako had located his tie from wherever he had thrown it earlier and added it to the pile as well. He crossed over to the other side of the bed to peek at Taako’s sleeping face, taking in his drooping cheeks and lips hanging slightly open as he sighed in his sleep before taking his leave of the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

Kravitz was just finishing off his third cookie of the evening when there was a knock on the door. All at once the reaper froze. He had completely forgotten about Angus (having been thoroughly distracted) but this surely had to be him. Kravitz frowned at the bedroom door, not liking the idea of waking Taako up, before deciding to take matters into his own hands. 

“Hello, sir! I-”

The little boy halted in his greeting all at once when he realized it was not Taako who had opened the door, eyes widening as he looked over this new stranger instead. He had a huge pile of brown curls exploding out of his head and big round glasses he was constantly pushing up his nose to reveal a scatter of freckles across his cheeks. He had a wand clutched tightly in one hand and a small bouquet of wildflowers in the other.

Angus gulped then smiled politely in a way that made him seem much older than he really was, despite the nerves still obvious in his voice.

“Excuse me, sir, I’m looking for the great wizard Taako, and I thought- do I have the wrong-?”

Kravitz shook his head.

“No, you’re at the right place, Angus. Please, come in. Taako told me he was expecting you.”

He tried to offer a smile but he suddenly wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. There was something about kids in general that made him a little nervous.

“Well-”

Angus glanced up and down the hall around him, shifting on his feet, clearly unsure whether he should go somewhere with a stranger before finally seeming to decide that he had no other choice, stepping into the apartment and letting Kravitz shut the door. 

The reaper led the boy into the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck as he went.

“Taako will be out soon, he just is finishing up a nap…”

“Oh, I don’t mean to intrude, I can just come back another time if he’s….”

He turned on him once they reached the kitchen, putting more effort into another smile. This was his first time meeting any of Taako’s associates- at least under these circumstances- so he had to try and make a good impression. Even if it was just a kid.

“Oh no, it’s perfectly fine. Taako told me he was looking forward to this, he even made you some cookies.”

He gestured to the plate and Angus instantly lit up.

“Wow, he made cookies just for me? Gosh, Taako is just the greatest!”

Kravitz lifted an eyebrow at the kid and smiled, amused at how easily pleased he was. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter.

“So, uh, what have you got there, kiddo?”

Angus looked down at his hands, peeked up at Kravitz, then glanced away shyly again.

“Well I just came from visiting the gardens with the director, so I thought I might bring some flowers back with me for Taako…”

“How lovely,” Kravitz smiled genuinely, pushing off from the counter, “Why don’t we put them in a vase for him while we wait?”

Angus peeked at Kravitz again and nodded and the reaper tapped his chin.

“Hmm, now that I think about it, I don’t think he has any vases here…”

Angus drooped, but Kravitz just grinned.

“Here’s an idea: why don’t we just transmutate one?”

Angus lit up, then shook his head.

“Oh, sir, that’s such a great idea, but unfortunately I don’t know how to do something like that yet…”

Kravitz turned to pull a regular glass out of the cupboard, hoping Taako wouldn’t mind having one less. 

“That’s alright, kid, I can show you, it’s simple enough.”

“ _ You _ know magic, sir?”

He set the glass down on the counter and gestured the kid over.

“Of course I do.”

Angus bounced over, face lit up once more.

“Oh, thank you, sir!”

~~~

They were just placing the freshly trimmed flowers in the new vase when Taako finally slinked into the kitchen, re-dressed and eyes a little narrow. The first thing Kravitz took note of was the wizard hat planted firmly on Taako’s head. Enter, stage left: the Great Wizard Taako.

“Hey, what the hell are you people doing in my house?”

He joked, crossing his arms and leaning in the doorway , expression unimpressed. Even so, Kravitz could see him taking in as much as he could as quickly as possible: Kravitz holding the vase of flowers down at eye level for Angus so he could arrange the flowers how he wanted, Angus chattering to Kravitz as he worked, Angus’s wand set gently down on the counter between them. Kravitz lifted an eyebrow and offered a grin over at Taako, hoping he wasn’t in trouble for how he had taken matters into his own hands, but guessing just from the wizard’s analytical but otherwise amused expression he wasn’t. Angus jumped at the words, taking in the wizard in the doorway with wide eyes of dismay.

“Oh, sir, I thought you knew I was coming, I didn’t mean to intrude-”

Taako batted a hand, pushing off from the doorway.

“Oh my god don’t start, kid, it was just a joke.”

He made his way over to them, eyeing the vase of flowers suspiciously, already sensing there was some magic involved.

“Oh!”

Angus laughed nervously now that he was in on the joke, glancing momentarily between Kravitz and Taako before holding up the flowers and blurting out all at once,

“Well I brought you some flowers from my visit to the garden with the director today and while we were waiting Mister Kravitz showed me how to transmutate a vase to put them in! I made this all by myself!”

Taako lifted an eyebrow, giving first Kravitz then Angus an impressed look before taking the flowers and looking the vase over.

“Well done kiddo, looks like you don’t even need me anymore!”

Angus shook his head furiously, brown curls bouncing.

“Oh no I still have a lot more to learn, I’m not nearly as good as you!”

“Yeah and you never will be. Why don’t you help yourself to some cookies while I see Mister Kravitz out.”

He gestured to the plate of cookies after ruffling the boy’s hair, who looked slightly confused by the mean comment but nodded obediently and began to eye his pickings carefully. Taako admired his flowers a moment more before setting them down on the counter and leading Kravitz back out to the door.

“Well, sorry I’m such a selfless person I don’t have more time for you, because I’m spending it all on saving the world and mentoring the needy youth.”

The wizard drawled, eyeing the reaper out in the hallway from his position in the doorway of his suite. Kravitz laughed, shaking his head.

“Well our time couldn’t be spent more differently, in that case. Even so, I always enjoy what time we do have together.”

“Hey me too homey, you even made a nightmare like Angus more bearable.”

Kravitz laughed again, not understanding why Taako was so awful to this kid but also understanding it was all just a silly act. The wizard had a lot of parts to play, for different people, at different times. Kravitz was lucky to catch him backstage today. 

“Hey, I am well acquainted with nightmares and that kid is far from one.”

The reaper replied, lifting a hand to tear open a portal for himself, carefully out of sight from the door for Angus’s sake. 

“Yeah, yeah.”

Taako rolled his eyes before leaning up on his toes to give Kravitz a quick kiss. 

“Now shoo.”

The reaper was a little surprised and a lot pleased by the gesture, offering a small smile and wave before he stepped through his portal and disappeared. Taako sighed and turned back into his suite, closing the door behind him and heading back into the kitchen to grab a cookie for himself.

“You didn’t see anything, got that, pipsqueak?”

He eyed Angus down below with his chin stuck out haughtily. Angus nodded furiously, gulping out a few nervous “Uh-huh!”s. Taako rolled his eyes, making his way towards the living room to begin his lesson.

“Now transmutate your face back to a normal color you big nerd…”

Angus snatched up his wand and hastily tried to do something about the deep blush blooming across his cheeks. It had never occurred to him what kind of guest Kravitz had been for Taako until he’d seen them kiss goodbye.

“R-right away sir!”

Taako grinned and rolled his eyes with his back to Angus, still dwelling on the past hour and a half’s events. He liked his dates with death the same way he liked flashy clothes and rearranging furniture- it certainly always kept things interesting. He wouldn’t mind a few more near-death experiences in the future.

~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> tada lol hmu with questions/comments and wish me luck as I catch up on TAZ


End file.
